Seven Deadly Sins
by lelalemon
Summary: Criminal Minds stories to follow suit of the seven deadly sins. Stories skip around in time order but all are related.
1. Wrath

Extreme anger.

* * *

Spencer taps his fingers against his desk. If one more person comes to him and asks him if he's okay, or if he's sick he's going to snap. It's his first day feeling well enough from withdrawals to leave his house, and now they're concerned? He'd been going through withdrawals for the last week while he rid his body, cold turkey mind you, of diluadid.

They'd all known he'd been using. They'd all hinted at it, mentioned it in one way or another but not a single one of them were willing to help him. none of them even tried. But now, now when the hard work is done and he's /mostly/ clean is when they want to ask if he's okay or if they need anything. They want to feel helpful now that he doesn't need them.

He runs his hands through his hair and just barely contains a growl. Maybe he shouldn't have come in today. He's not getting anything done. He's got a headache now, and a loathing... an absolute _loathing_ for the people he works with. He hated their fake concern. He hated the way they thought he was weak. He _hated_ when they said he needed family.

This time he does growl.

He gets up and grabs his bag. "Reid, is something wrong?" Hotch asks softly. Spencer puts his bag on and grabs his coat and walks up to his boss. before Hotch even has a moment to consider what is happened Spencer pulls back and punches him as hard as he can in the face. Hotch stumbles back and stares shocked at his seething underling.

Morgan gets up with the rest of the onlookers and stands between them. "He's going through stuff Hotch," Morgan says, even though he;s positioned to protect Hotch from anymore punches. "Go home Reid. When you return, I expect you in my office before you so much as look at your desk," Hotch says. Spencer marches away from them and takes the stairs down.

"Sir, are you okay?" Garcia asks shakily. She'd never seen Hotch get hit, for one. He has better reflexes than anyone she'd ever met. She'd never seen Spencer hit anyone, either. Not unless it was an unsub. "I'm fine Garcia. Carry on."

* * *

Spencer walks the entire way home with a scowl on his face. Once he's safe and in the comfort of his own dark, quiet home he undresses and turns the air conditioner on before entering his bed. The second his eyes close he falls asleep.

He dreams of men with powdered wigs waving gavels. Guilty, guilty, sacrifice...

He wakes in a cold sweat. He hit Hotch earlier. He scrambles for his phone and dials his bosses number with shaking hands. He doesn't even know what time it is. It doesn't matter. Hotch always answers.

"Hotchner," he hears the oddly comforting voice of his boss say. "Hotch... I... I can't believe I..." Spencer says before he begins crying. Hotch hasn't said anything. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," Spencer cries. Hotch still doesn't say anything. Spencer hangs the phone up and sobs into his hands. He had turned on the person he'd trusted the most and looked up to the most.

But he had been so angry. So childishly angry and now he is just full of pain. He's pulling at his hair and concentrating on breathing when Hotch walks into his house. He's standing in front of his subordinate with a frown. "Spencer," he says into the silence of the room. Spencer looks up at his boss. There's a bruise on his face.

"I quit," Spencer says. "I can't work for you anymore. I can't do that. I'm no better than one of our unsubs." Hotch sits on the bed and puts an arm around his subordinate. "Spencer, I don't want you to quit," Hotch says. "That's what victims of violence always say! You'll make excuses for me and validate me abusing you," he begins to hyperventilate.

Hotch squeezes him. "You didn't abuse me. This is not abuse. You punched me because you were upset and I just happened to be the first person to cross your path. It's a good thing it wasn't one of the ladies or you would've been in a lot more trouble. You've got a mean hook," he smiles. Spencer is just gaping at him. How can he make jokes about this?

"I know what's been going on. I should have stepped up and helped you before. You're clean, and that's why you lashed out." Spencer leans against his boss. "No one helped me get clean. No one helped me at all." Hotch pets the younger man. "It might seem like that, but we all did what we could without calling attention to it. We knew you wouldn't get clean until you were ready."

Spencer doesn't know what to say. He had felt alone the whole time. "We should have done more," Hotch admits softly. Spencer doesn't answer him. He's tired now. "Do they all hate me now?" He asks of his team. "Of course not. We all understand Spencer. It's alright. I wrote that you became ill and had to leave for the day. I expect you to take as much time as you need."

Spencer frowns when Hotch rises from the bed. "I'll be there tomorrow morning. I'm going out of my mind being home," he says softly. Hotch pets him softly and he leans into the contact. "Do you want some company tonight?" He asks. Spencer nods weakly. Hotch removes his shoes and his jacket. He drops his jeans and gets into bed next to Spencer.

Spencer aches to make physical contact but doesn't know how to ask. Hotch doesn't give him much time to consider social cues before pulling him close and letting him lay his head on his shoulder. "Good night Spence," he says softly. Spencer wraps his arm around Hotch and closes his eyes. "Night Hotch."


	2. Sloth

Reluctance to work or make an effort; laziness.

* * *

Spencer can't get up. He hadn't _tried_ but he knows. Not right now. He more slithers than anything. He wants water. He moves to crawling until he trips. Can you trip crawling? He starts to giggle. What is he doing?

He goes back to slithering to his kitchen. "What are you doing?" Something asks. Spencer squints and looks around. "York!" Spencer exclaims happily. "By jove, did you happen to see where we're going? I think my compass is broken," Spencer says. "Why are you crawling?" York asks him. "Not crawling anymore. Tripped last time. I'm a sloth. Can you get me some water?"

He's lifted up and held. York holds water to his mouth. "Am I Meriwether or William?" Spencer asks. York holds his face and looks him over. "You're Spencer Reid and I'm Derek Morgan. Spencer, what happened?" YorkDerek asks. Spencer blinks at him.

"I was trying to get water. I needed to find water. I'm so thirsty," Spencer whines. The man picks him up and takes him to bed. "Why didn't you get up and get a drink?" DerekYork asks. "I can't. It's too much work," Spencer says matter-of-factly. "Hotch, you better get here man. It's bad," DerekYork says.

A large man walks into the bedroom and Spencer smiles bright. "William! I must be Meriwether," Spencer says. He frowns suddenly. "Oh no. I have a bad few years in front of me," Spencer says. "Pretty boy, that's Hotch. Remember?" DerekYork says. He turns to look at WilliamHotch. "I broke my compass," he tells him seriously.

"Call for an ambulance," WilliamHotch says. Spencer closes his eyes. It's too much trouble to keep them open. He can feel his body shaking roughly. They must be hitting choppy waters.

* * *

Spencer wakes in the hospital. He looks around in shock. How had he ended up here? "Lewis," Derek says. Spencer quirks an eyebrow. "It's alright. William is here with me," he says. Hotch steps up at the point from the chair he'd been in. "York called me earlier. You had a seizure." Spencer bursts into laughter. "Are we the Corp of Discovery?" He asks.

Hotch leans down to his ear. "We are here under assumed names so that you don't get fired. You are in for one hell of a rude awakening, my dear sloth." Spencer's eyes go wide. "As soon as you're clear we are leaving here, with or without permission. We will then sign the papers to give you and York a three week LOA and you are going to come back clean or you are going to be fired and left for dead. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

Spencer nods. There are tears running down his face from fear and shame and other emotions he can't even name. Hotch sighs. "I was scared for you. So was he," he mentions toward Derek. "You were acting weird. We knew there had been something going on and as loathed as we were to admit it, drugs seemed the most likely. We wouldn't be this upset if we didn't love you," Hotch admits.

Derek holds Spencer's hand. "I never want to see you lifeless again, Pretty Boy. That was the scariest thing I've ever had to see."


	3. Pride

a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

* * *

Spencer's problem wasn't pride as much as it was a lack thereof. Spencer was easily always the smartest person in the room, but he was never boastful or prideful about it. He would comment on anything he could and tell you tidbits with amusement, but that wasn't pride. That was helpfulness. Pride would have been him shoving his ideas and knowledge and worth down your throat.

Instead, his ego begged for any attention that it could just to save it from drowning in negativity. He is more likely to expect criticism than compliments. So when Hotch pushes him again the door in his office and kisses him just the way Spencer had always imagined a kiss would feel like, he finds himself asking why. Why him? Why would Hotch want him?

His brain spirals downward. What if this is all to hurt him? What if this is to embarrass him? What are they doing? There's no way Hotch actually wants him. He returns to work and Hotch calls him back into the office.

"Reid, about yesterday," he says. Spencer waits for it. _I cleaned my mouth out with acid when you left. It was my good deed for the day. I couldn't let you die without a first kiss. It was a dare. I can stay I've kissed the ugliest person I will ever kiss. _"I like you, Reid. More than I should because of my position. If you are willing... I would like to see where this could go."

Spencer stares at him and tries to process the information. "Are you kidding?" Spencer asks. Hotch can see that he's not getting it. "Not at all," Hotch answers softly. "Why in the world would someone like you degrade yourself and be with someone like me?" Spencer asks honestly. "If you're desperate for affection, I understand but I would be willing to give you that without you needed to let anyone know."

Hotch is almost in shock. Does Spencer really think so low of his self? "I want you, Spencer. Your mind, your body, your mannerisms. Everything. I'd be proud to call you mine to anyone within earshot." Spencer sits down and considers what Hotch is saying. Of all the people Hotch has ever met, Spencer deserves to be prideful most of all.

"I... If you're sure. If you ever want out, just... I'll understand." Hotch shakes his head. It will take a long time to change Spencer's attitude about his self. He just hopes that Spencer's trust can overcome his lack of pride long enough to allow Hotch to change that.

The only thing about Spencer that Hotch would change is how he views his self. His ego. His pride. He deserves to be full of something other than self-loathing.


	4. Greed

Intense and selfish desire for something, esp. wealth, power, or food.

* * *

There is no member of the team that Spencer would describe as greedy. They gave their lives every day to keep people safe. Hotch gave up his marriage and his son. Prentiss gave up her chance at being a mother. J.J. gave up her sense of safety. Garcia gave up her naivety. Derek gave up his secrets. Rossi gave up his relaxation. And Spencer- Well, he'd given up his mother.

But when he really thinks about it, he would consider his self the most greedy member. He is greedy with their time. He can't get enough of it. He is always needing something from them. Their help, their attention. He gets hurt more than any other member on the team. He's been kidnapped more than any other member on the team. He doesn't drive and is regularly given rides.

After Maeve dies he closes his self off. There is nothing left in the world that he desires. There is nothing else that dictates that his living is good. He realizes this when he shuts himself in. He'd gone to the team with nothing and they'd given it their all. They had not only found Maeve, but found her stalker. They'd saved Spencer but they hadn't been able to save Maeve.

And now? Well, now, despite them giving everything they had when he needed them, he can give nothing back now. Whether they need anything or not. There is nothing of him to give. And that is greedy. All they want is him and he refuses them even that. He takes their help and throws it aside in order to lick his wounds in private.

He is greedy. He is a sinner. He wishes now, for the first time since it happened, that Raphael would have killed him in that shed.

So when it wears down and he's out of tears he allows them inside to pick up the piece he let drop. The team rebuilds his shelves and the walls that protect his heart. He accepts their cooing and coddling. He releases all responsibility for that section of his life and greedily allows them control.

It's love. All he's greedy for in the world consist of that one word. Take his money, take his books, take his intelligence... But if you take his love; If you take from him those that truely love him, then take his life. Take his life for there will no longer be any use of it.


End file.
